


Jealousy & Comfort

by YellowLipstick



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fili and Kili and Frerin are not related, Grief/Mourning, Groping, Jealousy, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Marriage Proposal, Multi, Nipple Piercings, Other, Polyamory, Polyfidelity, Public Display of Affection, Rare Pairings, Song Lyrics, fili and kili are not related
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:15:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21913642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YellowLipstick/pseuds/YellowLipstick
Summary: Kili runs into an old ex while out grocery shopping with his boyfriends, Fili and Frerin. Later, Kili visits the beach with with his fiancés, Fili and Frerin, and works through his grief with their support.
Relationships: Frerin/Kíli (Tolkien), Fíli/Frerin (Tolkien), Fíli/Frerin/Kíli (Tolkien), Fíli/Kíli (Tolkien), Kíli (Tolkien)/Original Male Character(s), Past Kíli (Tolkien)/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Jealousy

**Author's Note:**

> Song: “Satellite” by Guster

Kili sighed at his blonde lovers, rolling his eyes at their lengthy and in-depth discussion over the merits of spinach salad verses kale right in the middle of the produce section, before he wandered off to go find the frozen treats. As the young brunette turned to go, his long legs stumbled over one of the many island displays of fresh goods and with a loud ‘oomph’, he crashed into another handsome blonde. The blonde caught the lanky brunette with a chuckle, holding him firmly against his broad chest while Kili’s two lovers turned from their discussion to stare after what trouble their youngest lover had found himself in.

Frerin and Fili looked on with wide eyes while Kili blushed and giggled in a most flirtatious manner, before righting himself, and chuckling, “Well thanks, Brandon.”

“Brandon?” Frerin murmured to Fili with an angry growl just barely under the surface of his forced-calm tone.

Fili shrugged at the older blonde and turned back to watch what was happening with narrowed eyes and pursed lips, feeling irritated that another handsome blonde seemed to know his Kili…too well for his liking by the looks of ‘Brandon’s’ casual touches to the brunette’s arm and face, brushing his long, unruly hair behind an ear while chatting.

“How’ve you been?” Brandon inquired with a dimpled smile, puffing up as if to come off looking debonair or charming, though Fili just thought he looked like an asshole.

“Oh I’ve been good, you know, still in art school but I-I met my boyfriends a few years back and we’ve just all moved in together this last year,” Kili blushed, glancing to his two blonde lovers and noticing with confusion that they both looked quite angry; Frerin who was normally so placid actually was sporting clenched fists and a surly glare.

“Boyfriends?” Brandon quirked an eyebrow, following Kili’s stare to the two blondes standing by a large cart chock full of all healthy food items; he didn’t see any of the artist’s usual staples-poptarts, sugary cereal, pastries, or ice cream.

“Yeah, it works for us,” Kili smiled, ignoring the unhappy faces of his lovers and turning back to his ex, “I’ve never been happier,” he chirped.

Brandon nodded with a small sound of acceptance, “Sure kid, whatever works for you, I guess. I see you’re eating healthier now…” he trailed off as Kili pulled a face.

“Yeah, Fee and Frer don’t like it when I eat junk food, you know, they think they want me to stick around for a while or something like that,” Kili explained, only grimacing slightly at the thought of all the vegetables Fili regularly heaped onto his dinner plate while Frerin pushed whole grain-everything at him from the sides.

Brandon laughed and greeted the two blondes as they finally approached, “Hey, I’m Brandon,” he stated unsurely at the spectacular frowns both were sporting.

“We heard,” Frerin gritted out, “Let’s go Kee, I wanted to visit the organic store across town anyways,” he muttered while wrapping his arm possessively around the young artist’s waist and pulling his lover towards his own body most uncharacteristically in a show of ownership.

“Well, see you around Kee,” Brandon parroted, laughing at the affectionate nickname that had slipped past Frerin’s lips.

Frerin glared and huffed before turning away and leading Kili out of the store while Fili brought their groceries up front to quickly pay and leave. Before Fili parted from them he grabbed Kili’s bony hips and pulled him in for a heated, entirely inappropriate kiss, right in the middle of the grocery store. Fili pulled back and nipped at Kili’s lower lip, tweaked the right nipple piercing hiding underneath his baggy t-shirt, and grabbed the artist’s tight ass, pulling him in towards his body while Frerin sheltered the kissing couple from the side protectively.

“Fee?” Kili gasped before he quietly moaned at the feel of his sensitive nipple piercing being tugged on by the blonde.

“Just laying claim to what’s mine,” Fili murmured possessively, before smiling understandingly at Frerin to the side and glancing back at the flustered artist, “You were a bit…affectionate with that ex, who also happens to be blonde, don’t think that escaped our notice, and we just wanted to remind you who you belong to,” he explained easily.

“O-oh, I’m sorry guys, I didn’t…” Kili was cut off as his words were muffled with another kiss from Fili.

“Frerin’s the one who’s really upset, Kee, I suggest you talk to him out in the car,” Fili whispered after he had soundly kissed the brunette into silence before squeezing his limp hand and walking away to pay for their groceries.

Kili looked to Frerin questioningly but the oldest blonde only grabbed the younger’s hand and tugged him out towards their forest green SUV waiting in the parking lot. Frerin opened the back door and ushered Kili in before settling next to him stiffly, his angry expression now almost looking morosely sad.

“Frer I…” Kili tried to start but was silenced when Frerin pushed their mouths together, leaning closely to the young brunette in the back seat and finally allowing his hands to wander and clutch his lover closely to him.

“Kee, d-do you miss him?” Frerin panted when he pulled off the ardently responding brunette, who was already growing hard and rutting into the blonde’s thigh pressed closely to him on the seat.

“What? No, of course not,” Kili replied, wrinkling his nose at the thought of being with anyone but his two lovers, the idea of someone else touching him now made his stomach turn.

“But he’s blonde…” Frerin muttered insecurely, wondering if perhaps Kili just had a thing for blondes and not for him and Fili specifically.

“Yeah, and so what? When I met you and Fili, you guys just happened to be this awesome couple that both had blonde hair, didn’t change my opinion of you. I don’t only love you guys because of your beautiful hair,” Kili stated firmly.

“We didn’t know what we were missing when we met you,” Frerin whispered barely audibly, nostalgic over those first few, fumbling weeks of them figuring out their feelings for the flighty, passionate, irresponsible brunette artist who stumbled into their lives, literally, in the grocery store with a hand basket full of junk food; much like what had transpired today which was likely why he was feeling so insecure, it just seemed like too much familiarity to their own story-too close for comfort.

Frerin almost looked relieved and Kili pressed a firm hand against the elder’s chest before he could sink against him again and distract his thoughts, “Frerin, I don’t miss any of my exes, I know I haven’t talked about them much so that must have caught you off guard, but there’s not many. Just Brandon and one other guy and we both split on good terms and stuff,” he tried to explain, while Frerin winced at the last statement, “Look, I didn’t love either of them, and after a while, we just ended things because there was no point in keeping it going. You and Fili are the only people I’ve ever loved like that, that I want you both in my life, that I…that I want,” Kili trailed off, gulping thickly as he realized what he had been about to say.

“You want what, Kili,” Frerin asked seriously, before they both jerked in surprise when Fili showed up with the groceries, popping the trunk open to start loading them in and shooing off their offers for help-they clearly were having a moment they needed to finish.

Kili looked down, to where Frerin had started fiddling with his nipple rings, likely in an effort to distract the artist and get him to reveal whatever he had just held back, and it worked, “I-I want to marry you guys, like…like you both are married. I want that with you both too,” Kili blurted, before blushing shamefully and looking to his shoes, squeaking nervously when Frerin gasped and shifted towards him.

Suddenly the car door behind Kili opened and Fili scooted in next to him, the trunk now shut and full of groceries while the three men were crammed in the back seat together.

Fili wrapped his arms around Kili from behind and squeezed him tightly, drawing another flustered squeak from the artist’s mouth, and Frerin pushed forward, grabbing the brunette’s hands in his tightly, “Honey, we hadn’t asked you because we didn’t think you’d want that, want us like that, I mean; I know we’re both more…domestic-er-settled than you and that’s okay, we love you the way you are, but if you’ve felt left out…” Frerin rushed to say; startled the young brunette had just blurted all that out in the car to them.

“We’ve wanted to marry you since before we asked you to move in with us, and even then we thought you’d say no,” Fili murmured from behind his young lover, they had always felt that Kili was so amazing, unique and beautiful like a butterfly but equally ephemeral and passing through this life unhindered by labels; it had truly been a shock when the two blondes had first told the young artist they were in love with him and he had reciprocated, and even more surprising when years later he finally wanted to move in with them.

Kili startled them both by whimpering as tears spilled over his face, even in the heat of the car, the two blondes only held him closer, nearly crushing him between their pressing bodies.

“I’m sorry I was a jealous, Kili, I should have been more sure of you, I love you,” Frerin whispered, laying small comforting kisses all over the brunette’s face.

“Shhh, Kee, it’s okay, we’ve got you, we’ve got you now baby,” Fili cooed behind the trembling artist.

“I-I’m sorry I’m being all dumb a-and emotional,” Kili sniffled, feeling off-kilter, he was never this ridiculous though he could get very emotional at times.

Frerin met Fili’s eyes over Kili’s shoulder and watched the younger blonde nod in assurance, this was it; something they had secretly talked about, dreamt about, but never thought they would see to fruition.

Frerin ducked his head and met the brunette’s watery, chocolate eyes, “Kili, will you marry us?”

Kili gasped sharply before nodding excitedly and bursting into tears all over again as he threw himself at Frerin and pushed wet, sloppy kisses all over his whole face before turning back to Fili and doing the same while the more dominant, younger blonde growled quietly under his breath and let his hands wander the young brunette’s body possessively even as he was getting pelted with kisses. Though the car was growing warmer and the dairy products were surely going bad in the trunk, Kili didn’t think he had ever felt happier than he did at that moment, squished between the two, sweaty blondes in the back seat and dreaming of his wedding day.


	2. Comfort

*“You’re my satellite

You’re riding with me tonight

Passenger side, lighting the sky,

Always the first star that I find,

You’re my satellite”

-Guster, “Satellite”*  
  


It was in moments like this, crammed into a small car with all the windows open, flying down the coastal highway while the cool breeze battered through the interior, ruffling his long hair and stinging against his bare face-the moments that clung to him for days, months, and sometimes years later. Kili settled against the seat, allowing himself to be cradled by the headrest and curved back, sighing when Fili pushed close and nuzzled into his shoulder affectionately, warming the smaller brunette next to him. Frerin sped down the road, tears drying against his face as he thought about his youngest lover in the back seat, being comforted by his other, blonde lover.

It wasn’t easy on the nights when Kili asked to visit the beach, just them, alone with the crashing waves and the bright stars overhead. Their young lover, the passionate, flighty artist, could be so vulnerable to the world at times, to the grief rolling inside him under the surface; and Frerin always wanted to quell the tides of despairing sadness weighing the tender brunette down. While Fili always delved to the more empathic side of things and simply felt with the young artist, held his hand and hugged his shaking shoulders. Sometimes there was nothing to say, nothing could be said, words could be cheap and Frerin and Fili knew nothing they said would ever take Kili’s hurt away, though they sorely wished it could be so.

Kili liked to sit on the cool sand, dig his toes into it, and shut his eyes to everything but the sound of the waves on the shore. Sometimes it hurt because of who he was there for; saying goodbye over and over because a final goodbye was too painful to bear. Sometimes it hurt because his memories and feelings were so tangled up; to miss someone who had hurt him, someone who deserved forgiveness and so much more, but had left before they got the chance to redeem themselves. Most of the time it just hurt because the brunette had so many maudlin memories and daydreams over just plunging deep into the cold sea spray, swimming and pushing against the currents until he wasn’t anymore, until there could be no more grief because there would be no more him. He didn’t share those particular memories with his lovers, fearing for their likely frightened and overprotective responses to such cruel daydreams. He didn’t need to cause them more worry over him; though they must have some inkling, as whenever he asked to visit the beach so late at night they sheltered him close and clung to him like they were scared he would leave-go into the inky nothingness the waves called him to.

He shouldn’t come any more, he told himself it would be the last time each time he begged his blonde lovers to drive him down to the tiny, hidden beach. Though Frerin and Fili never judged, their faces only took on the sad, empathetic posturing as they clustered around him, enfolding him in their steady love and comfort. Frerin might try and calmly talk him out of the visit, if only to keep him from any unnecessary emotional hardship, and Kili knew he only meant well. Fili just held his hand, and refused to unclamp his fingers for anything, to the point that the young artist almost laughed through his tears at his blonde lover’s caring stubbornness. Yet as they all piled into Kili’s smaller, beat-up car that he refused to get rid of even with his lover’s forest green SUV taking up the majority of their house’s garage, the brunette insisting this car be the only car that take them to his sacred beach; Kili could feel happiness snake through him, amidst the bubbling grief that had brought him to ask for the visit to the dark waves in the first place.

As they left the coastal highway and got closer to the larger city, the stars faded and the fresh, salty breeze became thick with pollution, choking smog. Kili felt refreshed, healed momentarily of his ever-bleeding, wounded heart, and the tears he was shaking with turned happy while he let out a laugh in the night air, lightened every now and then by an orange streetlight.

Fili pushed his face close to the brunette’s ear, “Better, love?”

Kili choked on a hoarse sob that was almost a laugh and nodded, “Yeah, Fee,” he murmured, before wrapping his arms tightly around the blonde and clinging to him, “I-I love you so much, Fili, you and Frerin, you’re everything to me.”

“I know Kee, and you’re everything to us too,” Fili whispered back, petting over the brunette’s tangled, wind-blown hair soothingly before wrapping his arms back around the smaller man possessively, “You will always belong to us, we love you,” he murmured against Kili’s mouth before kissing him soundly.

When they got back to their house and Fili practically carried the sleepy brunette into the dimly lit hallway, near slumbering as he was overwrought with the emotional turmoil that the visit had brought on, Frerin finally was able to pull his youngest lover into his arms once more, feeling it had been too long even since they had left the sandy shores.

“Kee, baby, I love you, I love you so much,” Frerin muttered at the disheveled brunette he was cradling tightly, still worried over him and his emotional well-being; the young artist really could be so sensitive, and Frerin wished he could heal the bleeding heart which he in fact loved so much, had fallen for so hard, appreciating the empathic soul behind it.

“Let’s go lay down,” Fili suggest quietly from the side, grabbing Frerin’s hand and leading them to the bedroom after checking the door was safely locked behind them all.

Later, when Kili was between the two blondes on the bed, face pushed into Fili’s neck while he toyed with the artist’s nipple piercings idly, Frerin holding them both with his strong, reassuring arms; Kili felt his chest loosen, no longer laughing with slightly hysterical happiness, no longer aching with stinging grief, he could breath now. His whole life he felt like he was just struggling to breath, until Frerin had grabbed one hand and Fili the other, and he could finally inhale deep, the pain dulled and the sunshine cracking in. He hoped they would always want him, temperamental as he could get, he couldn’t imagine living without them ever again; they were everything to him since he had finally found his peace in their love.

As Frerin pushed closer to the brunette, he couldn’t help but lean in and inhale his young lover’s comforting scent; the salty, fresh smell that was all Kili and reminded him that his lover was here with him. He squeezed the artist tighter, sometimes he could get so insecure about the youngest’s affections, feeling like Kili was always a bit out of reach, so flighty, beautiful and enchanting, yet shining and unreachable like a star in the sky. Kili was always the first of his lovers Frerin sought out upon reaching home each day after work, needing to be reassured the artist was safe, out of trouble, and hopefully happy; then Fili, gentle Fili who was such a solid support to him, kind and stoic, an ever-comforting pillar to both him and Kili. Frerin’s hand found Fili’s and he squeezed gently, hearing his blonde lover’s answering sigh in the darkened room over Kili’s soft snores and sleepy mumblings that slipped out during his vivid dreams at times.

“Sleep now, Frer, stop worrying over us, my love, you need some rest,” Fili whispered, knowing the elder blonde was in a constant state of trying to make everything alright, to care for his younger lovers, even when things went smoothly and didn’t include midnight visits to their youngest lover’s hidden beach, the equivalent of visiting his deceased father.

“I love you Fee,” Frerin whispered before finally closing his eyes and relaxing his body into the soft mattress.

“I love you too, Frerin, have sweet dreams,” Fili murmured back, petting his free hand against the older blonde’s arm while his other hand remained tangled in Kili’s long hair.

Fili quickly heard Frerin fall off into the steady breathing pattern of slumber and sighed quietly, feeling his heart swell for his two lovers, both so different and so amazing in their own ways. Some days were hard, and some days were easy. Kili could get so overwhelmed by his emotions, and drawing him into comfort could be a near insurmountable task, but one that was worth the effort when the artist was laying so peacefully in between them, like now. Fili gripped Frerin’s arm close and tightened his fingers in Kili’s hair possessively, his lovers meant everything to him; and as he finally tried to fall into sleep as well, clutching them closely, he knew he would never feel differently. Taking the chance to date Kili had been frightening at first, both blondes had been hurt by exes in the past, but it couldn’t have been more worth it; Kili completed them.

Kili nuzzled against Fili’s chest and muttered something nonsensical in his sleep as Frerin grunted a loud snore behind the brunette, and the younger blonde only smiled wider, tears prickling at his closed eyes with overwhelming affection for the two men beside him in bed. He was sure tomorrow Kili would grumble about the lack of junk food in the house, Frerin would be short and temperamental because his work schedule was growing more stressful as of late, and he would be anxious over his own upcoming work week. There would be tiffs and hurt feelings, slammed doors and stomping feet, but also laughter and sunny afternoons, relaxing car drives into the country and soothing nights spent reading in bed; and Fili didn’t think he’d ever have his life any other way. His feelings for Kili and Frerin could knock him in the chest, could make him weak at the knees, they were his biggest strength and his biggest vulnerability; and it was imperfect perfection, shattered and put together all at once in the most raw and beautiful of ways.

Fili dropped off into sleep, unconsciously curling in towards Kili, smiling in his slumber and sighing restfully; the end to a ragged day, but folded over so warmly in heartfelt comfort.


End file.
